I going, to be honest, here, I wasn’t aware of C-section shaming until I gave birth to my daughter. After being induced twice and being in labour for a full day, I refused to dilate evenly. That’s when I asked my doctor if I can have a c-section. My doctor wanted to induce me for a third time and see what happens.
I had finished my 41 st week of pregnancy with almost no signs of going in for labour. We waited and waited. I always wanted to go for C-section. I have no qualms in admitting that. Vaginal delivery never felt like my cup of tea. To say I was scared would be an understatement.
My doctor asked me to join pre-labour classes on sensing my hesitation. She felt I should be educated more on the subject and she was so right.
The classes were good and they helped in clearing my doubts and apprehensions. I felt I could buckle up enough to go for vaginal delivery. My ob-gyn assured me that both forms of delivery are safe, except vaginal would have a shorter recovery time. I felt like I could do it, I should listen to my doctor who is so confident for me.
As faith would have it, I didn’t dilate after trying everything in the rulebook. My ob-gyn decided to induce me. And, even when that doesn’t seem to work out, I decided to ask for C-section. The pain was too much for me to bear. It was my decision and I am not ashamed about it, not one bit.
Most importantly, our daughter came out hail and healthy. She is the bundle of joy that we hoped her to be.
C-section shaming–Are you being a lazy mother, mama?
However, I could sense a bit of disappointment in a few of the folks. A lot of them seemed to pass causal remarks of how my labour was easy. And that I didn’t have to ‘suffer’ much. I was told and retold labour stories with a special emphasis on the number of ‘hours’ they have spent in labour. Most of them were not even interested in wanting to know why I did, what I did.
After a point, I even stopped wanting to explain my side of the story. If you think I took a shortcut, I would let you think that way.
And, that my friend, seems to have defined motherhood. The amount of pain you endure to bring your child in this world makes you a good or bad mama. Or so it seems.
C-section shaming-Too posh to push?
I am supposed to hold my head in shame that my labour was short. Also, that I didn’t give birth vaginally, and hence it’s not actual delivery. Why do we put so much on women to be perfect all the time?
I hate to admit this but did let the words of naysays get to me. My recovery was smooth, thankfully but my mind was not at ease. Most of the visitors looked down upon me as if I have committed a cardinal sin. As if I have harmed my child in some way? Also that I am not being a good mother.
I am not promoting C-section in any way but I would also not let anyone shame me either. The amount of time I spent in the labour room doesn’t make me a good or a bad mother.
To the mothers and mothers-to-be reading this, let me assure you, having a C-section is not the end of the world. Don’t let anyone make you feel that way.
As far as post-op recovery is concerned, it entirely depends on your mindset and determination (unless there is any complication). You won’t be able to run a marathon the next week.
But as time passes, with the help of proper exercise and nutrition, one certainly can achieve their pre-baby body.
As I end this post, I would urge you to not be too hard on yourself. A little bit of kindness towards oneself would take us a long way.